The Next

While home sick from work today, scrolling through social media, I came across the phrase “destination addiction.” My heart immediately sank, and I knew that this was a positive diagnosis for me.

Jesus warrior, Christine Caine, had Instagramed a quote from Shelley Giglio who describes destination addiction as, “the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, or even with the next partner.” Her warning is that, “until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.”

Upon reading the symptoms, I knew I was addicted. In fact, I think most of us are if we’re honest; we are always counting down to the “next.”

Even upon acknowledging this addiction, I felt my brain wandering today, thinking about all my own “nexts” that will perhaps make things better. Having a baby. Making more money. Somehow having more time for myself. Moving into a new house. The list goes on. My imagination wanders.

Back to reality.

I have a husband who tracks in mud and leaves the lid up. I have parents that I never get to see because of my busy life. I have friends that live too far away with limited time. I have a job that requires a 60+ hour work week and a stress level that is probably aging me at an accelerated speed. I have an entire summer off that I spend worrying about how quick August will arrive.

“Next” will surely fix all of these things correct?

But I wouldn’t want it to fix this.

I have a husband who loves me more than the world. I have parents who have blessed my life beyond measure. I have friends that are a gift from God. I have a job that allows me to bless students and create impact. I have summers off.

All too often I am dreaming of the one day I will have more money, more time and fewer worries. I think about the one day I will be a mom and have a love that is bigger than a universe. I think about that one day… and the list goes on.

The real truth is that the first reality is real, the one with the husband that leaves the lid up, but the good news is that so is the second reality with the husband who loves me more than the world. I have to find a way to see all that is great now and not spend my time focused on attaining or avoiding what is ahead.

So, right now, not in the “next” moment, I vow to focus on the good and enjoy the now. Maybe the “next” will be better, or perhaps it will bring its own set of problems, but right now I am focused on the good in the moment.

I know my imagination my drift again, focusing on the “next” and what I do not have now, but I am not worried about that. Right now, I am wearing fuzzy socks, finding time to write and greeting my wonderful husband as he walks in the door from work, and it is well with my soul.

Post from January 25, 2106

For more from Michelle, visit her blog Words Voice and Grace.

Thank you, Michelle, for sharing your heart!